Love & Life

[Note - This post may be a lot touchy and sensitive. Do take care when reading. ] I am a planner. I usually plan things that I can. My friends say I plan more than the average human. But I feel safer that way knowing that I have accounted and prepared for more problematic situations. Yet when I rode my vehicle at early hours of the night at 7pm through that road, no amount of preparation or familiarity made me feel safe.   Vehicles were constantly ahead of me and behind about 50 meters away, I dint feel safe.   The forest through which the road was built, was merely high shrubs now, for man had made his living there, and yet I did not feel safe.   Tall rods stood dark on either side of the road, perhaps with an intention to shine some light and save people from accidents or unforeseen situations but I did not feel safe. Probably because some corrupt executive decided that gobbling the money needed for that light was much better. Well, he must have thou...

Barren hands and barren lands Oh no I say, not the spear again.   It strikes through the leaves with a swoosh and punctures your heart.   oh damn oh damn ! Why did I fall again.   What wishes that this is the one.   What hopes that this may be the one.   What braves you to go past the scars.   Yet results in all deeper wounds   Oh perhaps this Or perhaps that The naive heart hopes That this may be it It seems like a joke,   The feelings that come in Not in my eyes   But in the eye of the man who creates For he lets me sway,   He lets me flow And then when I do He cracks up as it was a joke The carrots dangle in front Like a reminder all the time That I could want something That which I could never have But why ?   What entitles me to not have it ?   Am I too precious to him   Or is It some sort of a saddistic joke. are humans all alo...

       We got off the car at the top of the narrow lane leading to the ocean. It was a magnificent view. With shops on either side and the blue sea at the extreme end. The only thing stopping me from rolling into the ocean, was that rock wall a feet high. Clad in white capris and a smudge off-shoulder top, I challenged him to a race. To reach the end of the wall, find the beach and touch the water. He was taller to me by almost a feet. It was inevitable that he would win. But I dint care then. For I was sure he would let me win. After all it was me.          As we closed the doors and started sprinting, I was right. He deliberately slowed down and I raced like I had never run before. Determined to show him I was faster than him and that my small legs would cover more distance.   He tagged my pony from the back and jumped a few steps forward. Just to tease me I knew. He turned and was running backwards down the slope as...

Sometimes we are at a loss for words. Let us get in touch with our inner selves.  The inner us which sent thoughts non stop.  the inner us which is silent now.  We often make mankind look bad, forgetting that we are one amongst it.  Does the sun change for you? It probably does, but we are too pessimistic to find out.  This world is a bad place to live in.  But why? The earth and the skies are all the same.  They have not changed. Then why? It is us. We have ruined our lives and the world.  - from the old writings, when i was hurt by seeing what destruction man has caused the beautiful nature

I form the trees as I walk. I form the clouds as I walk. The thick dark clouds, that let no hope pass through when I look above for a sign of positivity, a ray of sun. Everything closed with thick black clouds. It is not even the night. It is the morning. The trees and the clouds covering everything that could have shown me light. It isn’t the world. This is just for me. This is just my world. I see nothing above, the ground beneath. On firm ground, I stand but I wish I weren’t. I wish the ground would suck me into it. But no, it is hard, hard like a rock. Telling me that I have closed this path too for you. You have nowhere to go. I am not opening my doors to you.   The trees loom over me. As they tower and their long branches fall down. I hold to one hoping to swing out of this but I cannot. I am too heavy for myself. My baggage is pulling me down. I cannot even carry myself off the ground. I jump hoping it would be high enough for me to cross over to the other s...

The other day I received a text about the simplified version of Bhagavad Gita. I have always been a fan of The Gita and like always, hoped that the text would be an eye opener and take me to another plane of inner peace. However as I moved from one slide to another, my brain, whose neural roots of logic are now compromised after years in the IT industry, was interpreting the verses as something that my manager would tell me. As the door of the elevator opened to my floor, there he was, my 5’10 manager in front of me with a crown on his head topped with a peacock feather, a blue tinge to his skin, a spinning ‘chakra’ on his right index finger and a flute in his left hand.   [ Italic font is the original verse from The Gita. The normal font is the version of Lord Krishna’s reincarnation as my manager.] “Why do you worry without cause? Whom do you fear without reason? Who can kill you? The soul is neither born nor does it die. Whatever happened, happened for the ...

It was like a stab in the heart. As I stepped out to leave to work, a sharp pain started in the middle of my chest. I thought it was a temporary thing. Maybe something to do with the spinach smoothie and banana that I had in the morning for breakfast, or maybe the quick workout I did in order to save time or perhaps the long night in heels the previous day or maybe just an evil cast or perhaps the indication of a nuclear war, my mind was racing to illogical reasons trying to rationalise the pain that was now beginning to spread. My right shoulder pained and my left one too. The article I read a couple of days ago came to my mind - The symptoms of a heart attack in women.   What? A heart attack? No it can’t be. I am only 32. I am too young. I am not ready. It can’t be my time yet. I am too young to die.   Death has its weird way of coming to you. I thought I was prepared. I thought I had done everything in life, from the crazy stuff that others fear, to absolutely a...